


Rubik's Cube

by WitchyTwitchy



Category: Escape the Night (Web Series)
Genre: Established Relationship, F/F, Falling In Love, Female Relationships, For My Favorite Lesbian, Happy Ending, Implied Sexual Content, Lesbian Character, Light Angst, Love you!, Safiya Loves Girls, Slice of Life, We Stan Saf Ships, wedding mention
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-05
Updated: 2020-04-05
Packaged: 2021-02-28 23:21:15
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,507
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23485231
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WitchyTwitchy/pseuds/WitchyTwitchy
Summary: Through trail and error, Safiya stumbles through the very puzzle that is love. Learning about herself and her general interest in women in the process.or to be frank : Safiya has loved many in her life, but only three are memorable.
Relationships: Minor or Background Relationship(s), The Disco Dancer | Colleen Ballinger/The Investigative Reporter | Safiya Nygaard, The Investigative Reporter | Safiya Nygaard/The Jet Setter | Rosanna Pansino, The Investigative Reporter | Safiya Nygaard/The Troublemaker | Nikita Dragun
Comments: 4
Kudos: 8





	Rubik's Cube

**Author's Note:**

  * For [willowcat33](https://archiveofourown.org/users/willowcat33/gifts).



Safiya had never been quite sure of what love really is. She's been through all the stages,, but she's never actually had a solid explanation of it. It's the one puzzle she can't solve, and it never stops bugging her. 

When she was really young, the chemical equation of being naive and stupid, she realized only a few things about herself when it came to the love department. Safiya had watched the other girls in her class more often than she watched guys. Watched how softly they held each other, heard their high pitched squealing when they were happy, and noticed how much her heart thundered whenever they had talked to her. They came in so many shapes and sizes, and they were all so different, that she couldn't help but be curious. Safiya didn't want to like girls, because she wasn't sure that was right, but she liked them nonetheless.   
It was her first realisation about love. 

The next one hit her when she was old enough to see more of a difference in girls - well, women now. She met a girl named Rosanna, who was soft and too kind to be brutally honest like her. Ro had soft brown locks and a mind made for daydreaming. Safiya wasn't sure they should get along as well as they did, with her being a realist, but the motherly woman proved her wrong. There's more to her than just dreams, she realized. Rosanna was strong, confident, and could love you for years without the gesture being returned. She watched Rosanna love on people like Matthew and Joey with awe, and admired the strength of her love from a nice distance. 

She had never known a person like Rosanna before. And even if they weren't as close as she wished they were, Safiya cherished every moment together. From baked goods, to present baskets, to the firm press of lips on her check. And at some point the reporter, no longer naive, saw the way Ro used to look at her when they were alone. The tension folded over them like a fuzzy blanket that Safiya wished she had never shed. But they don't work there, and it hadn't been Rosanna - it had been her. She tried to tell Ro this back then, that she just needed more time, but she had been fearful of the throb of first love and eventually they stopped talking all together.   
From the occasional letters she now gets in the mail, she hears Rosanna is married. And despite the bitterness of an almost, Safiya can only ever feel joy for her former friend. 

A little bit after they stopped talking, and a month or two of non-stop working, she's given another lesson on love. Another woman, of course, because Safiya had slowly let herself accept the fact that's all she likes. 

This lesson isn't like her former one. While the first was gentle, full of dreams and teaching her to let go- this lesson only came with pain, lust, and greed. It wasn't her best lesson, but everyone had to learn this one, so she never regrets anything she did back then. 

After Rosanna comes a thunderstorm. A force that knocks her off her feet at every turn. There's no gentle breeze, just thunder and rain. This lesson is handed to her by the harsh hands of a woman named Nikita. A woman Safiya meets through her job.   
( she had been gathering data and had asked a man a question when Nikita stormed over, handed the man an ice cream cone, and told her to leave him alone, but that's besides the point- )  
Nikita was a mix of bark and bite. If she said something, she followed through with it. Safiya had felt like a teenager again, naive, and believed foolishly that she could make a home out of the troublemaker. They're both realistic, they're both different forms of strong forces, and maybe Nikita was as lonely as she is. 

So she got closer to the man, who she now knows as Manny, to try and wiggle her way into the blonde's life. It's a good thing she ended up really liking Manny too, which is a bonus. Behind every woman she longed for, there's always a man who seemed to be the perfect friend. Safiya got close, and asked questions, and eventually Manny found out what she was doing. She expected him to be disappointed in her, but he told her to go for it instead. Agreed that maybe Nikita needed someone in that way. So Safiya thanked him, and finally turned her focus to chasing after Nikita. 

She gets dragged into nightclubs, running from the police, and punching some woman in the face for slapping Nikita. Her hands ached by the end of it all, and her heart was heavy and tired in her cage of a chest. Nikita was hard to love, and no matter how much she tried to selfishly make them fit, nothing ever seemed to have worked. The only thing that fit were their bodies after an argument; two jagged mirror pieces trying to refit in the same mirror. Her grip turned harsh whenever it grabbed tan skin, and she became nasty when confronted with jealousy. It held no gentleness at all, and she thought she never had saw it as love-  
But one day Nikita randomly moved away, and Manny told her, and Safiya had cried more than she ever had before. Her heart shattered, and the broken pieces hit her lungs and stilled her breathing. Somehow she had loved and hated Nikita, and this was the lesson of how Safiya learned that women can be as cruel as they are gentle. 

And maybe she should really just stop dwelling on the past, and what she's learned about love. But that's kinda hard to manage when you have someone laying on your chest. Someone who you got your hands on from those experiences.   
There were more lessons, of course, but nothing as impactful and as different as the lessons of Ro and Nikita. 

She looks down, as much as she can with a woman tucked beneath her chin, and feels herself smile softly. There's been so many lessons on how hard it is to love girls, and be a girl, but this one might be the easiest one yet. The trick to love, is to simply love. Even if it's hard, even if it hurts, and even if it is wrong. Love someone if you love them, and don't hesitate or force themselves to stay with you. Safiya isn't one to boast, but she feels like maybe today she finally has the answer to love. In the moment, she's finally found it. 

"I love you." The reporter turned lover whispers. "I love you. I love you. I love you-" And with every breath the woman against her breathes, Safiya pecks her head with a kiss. 

Colleen giggles, the twitch of her lips warm against her throat. "What's with all the affection?" But she feels the dark haired woman smile wide, "But I love you too. Probably."

Safiya rolls her eyes, her lips quirking in amusement. "Probably? We're getting married in three months, my beloved. You might as well just admit you love me already."

Her lover laughs, full of love, and pulls her head back. She moves her hands up Safiya's body and sets them on her shoulders, propping herself up and straddling her in her panties. Colleen wrinkles her nose at her, before kissing Safiya's head. "Your nicknames for me are so strange."

"I'm strange. So it adds up."

Colleen groans, "If you don't call me your Dark Queen after our wedding, I'm going to be so pissed!" 

Safiya thinks that Colleen should call her that, but keeps her mouth shut. Wouldn't want to get her soon-to-be wife all worked up after all. Not with all the planning stress on their shoulders already.   
( she thinks about the invitations she's sent Rosanna, Joey, Matthew, Nikita, and Manny - and can't help but wonder if they'll come. If they even remember her. )

"Roi and Teala have finally reserved their thingy-"

"Their seats?" Safiya offers, smugly. 

A pout forms on Colleen's face. "Whatever- they reserved their spot. Which is good, because we showed up for their wedding, so they better show up for ours." 

She settles into the pillow behind her back, and slowly her lover does the same. Conversation falling into comfortable silence as they rest against each other, only in their panties and completely vulnerable. The soft feel of the other girl's breast pressed firmly onto her own skin makes her grin to herself. She has this. All the lessons led to a conclusion. If someone asks her what love is, Safiya can now look them in the eye and whisper her lover's name with certainty.   
As Colleen's breathing evens out, falling into a peaceful sleep, Safiya knows something else. 

Out of every girl she's ever fallen in love with, no matter how fleeting, Colleen is her favorite.


End file.
